The Bay City Bash 2002

THE BABE CITY BASH
by P.

"Tell me again. We're going where?"

Starsky sighed. "Milton Keynes, I told you, Blondie, some place called Milton Keynes."

"And they're all going to be there?"

"Well maybe not all of them, just the usual suspects - y'know. SHaron, Solo, Jacqui..."

Hutch's eyes widened in horror.

"Not that Bay City Bash thing, Starsk! Tell me its not that - please. I read about the last one on the Internet and you won't believe what they do. They make up games and quizzes and even plays about us! I swear, those women are crazy!"

Starsky turned away from the open suitcase on the bed and put on his best "Trust me I'm a Police Officer" smile.

"But Hutch, I promised Polly we'd go. She's never been to one of these Cons before and I think she's kinda nervous. I said we'd go along and, umm... .give her a little moral support."

"As long as that's all she wants you to give her!"

"Oh babe, I thought you'd gotten over all that. Let it go. You know it was a genuine mistake. She honestly thought that the bottle of stuff she spilled on me was bleach. She thought she was doin' me a favour getting me to strip off and helpin' me into the shower to wash it off. She just gets kinda confused these days."

"Oh yeah? But it wasn't bleach, was it, dummy?"

"Umm.. no.. but it might have been!"

"You didn't wonder why she came to our apartment with bleach in a lemonade bottle? Why it didn't smell bad when she "accidentally" splashed it on you?"

"I guess I just didn't think about it at the time. She's a nice lady, Hutch, they all are once you get to know 'em."

"Starsk, you are so gullible! You're just lucky I came home when I did. Anyway, all that steam in the bathroom would have ruined her video camera."

Time to change the subject before Blondie gets all worked up again, thought Starsky.

"Anyhow, its all booked " He continued folding shirts and stuffing them into the case.

"It? Our room, you mean?"

"Well no, not a room exactly, its kinda like a suite."

"Why do we need a whole suite - won't that cost a lot more?"

"No, SHaron got us a good rate and it was the only way we could get a really big bed and Solo says the security cameras are only there so none of our stuff will go missing."

A little light went on in Hutch's brain and alarm bells began to ring.

"It wouldn't happen to have lots of mirrors, would it? Or some really bright lights, by any chance?"

"Dunno. We'll find out when we get there, Blintz. I just know that I promised that I'd help Polly out if they have one of those quizzes about us. You know what a hard time she has remembering things. She's not as young as we are."

"How can you help her? Look, Starsk, even I don't know everything about us. Hell, I can't even remember if I've got a sister or not - and is my middle name really Richard or did I just imagine it?"

"Who knows. Who cares. You'll always be my favourite 'Dick'."

"Stop trying to change the subject. And while you're helping Polly, what am I suppose to do?"

"Well, I thought maybe you could take Jacqui's mind off Blair for a while and help SHaron sell her mugs or something..."

"I'm starting to think that the only mug around here is me."

"C'mon, baby blue, relax. It'll be terrific. Can't you at least pretend that you want to go?"

"You're making it awfully hard, Starsk."

"Hard? Really? Then let's not waste it, Blondie."

The half-packed suitcase slid to the floor as Starsky fell back on to the bed, pulling his partner down on top of him. Hutch knew when he was beaten.

Sometimes there really was no point in fighting the inevitable.

"Now, Starsk, about me having your favourite dick."

"Hey, that wasn't exactly what I said."

"Never mind what you said - I prefer my version. Now, do you think you could stop talking for just a minute or two? I just thought of something much better you could do with your mouth."

The End